On one hand it has given me the opportunity to organize, deep clean and get my house to a place where I like it to be. Fully knowing that within two hours of my children arriving back from VA, the clean and pretty house will be no more. But, at least I know it looked great for a while. :) It has given me sweet and precious moments with the man I love most in the world. It has allowed me flexibility with sleep hours, which when you work nights can be a precious gift.
On the other hand, it has given me time to reflect on what I need to start doing in order to be a better wife, mother, friend and all around person. Time can play tricks on you.....why can't I do this when Jim and the kids are home....why can't I keep a kept house, why can't I have all the laundry washed, dried and put away in 24hrs, all my friends seem to be able to keep up with it all, why can't I?
Jim mentioned to me that I seemed down. I guess it was just my mind, but then he mentioned that when I work out, I seem to be in a better place......physically and mentally.....like when he first met me. Then it hit me, right.between.the.eyes. What have I done differently since meeting him 4 years ago? A lot, if you look at the big picture....nursing school, marriage, the night shift. But, when I look at ME, and what I need to do, I think he is right and then some.
So, this week, I set a few new goals. Everyday of the week, even if I am working, I am going to the YMCA to do a class. If I don't have someone telling me 15 more, then I won't do it. It's just how I am. So far, so good. I feel good, not as tired. Sore muscles, but it is a good thing :) On a different note, I have also decided I need some more mental goodness........journal writing and daily prayer. I am hoping to branch out and have my family pray with me at some points. We have a lot on our minds and I think we should all be on the same page. I find that when I am more in tune with God, letting him know where I am at....not that he doesn't already know, but my verbally telling him.....I am overall a better person, and I can handle anything that comes my way.
What does having extra time on your hands do for you, I would love to know?
3 comments:
I feel blah about the same things you do I feel like I have too many things to do to do anything with excellence. Then according to my husband, I am an excellent wife. According to my kids, I am the best Mom. But the laundry fairy would tell you that getting the laundry done is not my best quality. ;0). Making time for me is not my best quality either. As I sit here, my toes are busted, my eye brows need plucking, and I'm blogging, drinking a glass of wine, and watching the Golden Girls. Not to mention I haven't seen my friend Heather in almost 4 months :(
free time?? what is that?! ;) we don't even have kids yet and i can't seem to find one extra minute to do anything....but, what i have realized is that my quiet time with God and working out are two things that i NEED! i also really like listening to podcasts on focusonthefamily.com.
one of my friends recently said that
he wanted to be in the best shape of his life...physically, mentally, and spiritually...all three are needed for a balanced life! i think women have a hard time taking time for themselves because we want to take care of everyone else (or maybe that's just the nurse in us!), but sometimes, time to ourselves is exactly what we need :)
I hope I have time on my hands so that I can get from God what you did!!!!
Love learning from you :)
I feel like God intentionally gave me Jordan so that I could get to know you!
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