Making headway, I hope

Have you ever had a relationship that just went round and round? Somedays it is great, somedays not so much. Sometimes you think you are really getting through to the other person, because they lead you to believe it is so........inevitably just to be let down a while later?

I have one of these with my children's father, and it seems no matter how long and hard I pray for change, it only comes in small glimmers. In the past I have held on to these sparks of hope like there would never be another. I have watched the glimmers fade and tarnish, and the cycle begins again. Each time thinking, could this be the time that everything changes? I fear so much as I walk on this journey that I will give too much credit, or of course, not enough. It is a fine line to walk when you truly think about it.

A very long in coming conversation took place the other night about the wellfare of the kids and parenting decisions that were being made, etc. All day I prayed and worried and fretted over what to say, and what to hold my tongue on. Jim was ready to say whatever was on his mind, or whatever the conversation lent itself to become. Why can't I be more relaxed like that? All in all the content went well, less emotion was expressed than we have had in the past (I am so thankful for that). Then yesterday, another 1-1 phonecall where more maturity came through, which left me quite surprised (albeit still skeptical and waiting for the ball to drop).

Could it be though, could this have been the conversation to spark the change I have been praying and praying for?? Maybe all of our hearts are in the right place at the right time, if so, thank you God. If it isn't, I guess that continuing to trust in Him to make the changes in His time will be on the prayer list again.